My husband and I often talk about the times B.C. (before kids) and oh how we laugh about the things we thought we could do after bubs arrival. We reminisce about all the things we could achieve unencumbered by nappies, treasure e.g. sticks, random plastic bits and small person outfit changes. We think about how much time we have wasted in our youth, how much higher education, projects, and extra-curricular activities we could have squeezed in to, what seemed like a busy life at the time. But now we know it wasn’t. So when I had bub and I returned to work and was greeted in the mornings by a ‘tired’ gorgeous young colleague who had time to straighten her hair WITH product, and had time to apply primer and make-up who moaned about sleeping through her alarm after 8 hours sleep and still was still feeling tired. I had to stop myself cranking up the breast pump to ‘nipple detach’ mode and attaching to her beautiful face. So now I watch and wait and think of all the things I unrealistically planned to do when I had kids:
I’m going to do an hour of running everyday
Thats not so realistic when you have had 4 hours of broken sleep and your pelvic floor is as weak relapse chocolate addiction
I am really looking forward to catching up with my friends for lunch in the city
So lets just say you do make it on time after trying to time the visit with bubs sleep, nappy changes and a ‘number 3’ before you leave the house. Then there is lugging the pram and equipment, trying to do it too quickly and trapping your finger in the hinge of the pram, locking both the baby and keys in the car and arriving to the death stares of diners when little miss cracks it for absolutely no reason at all.
I can’t wait to go drinking with your friends
A bottle of bubbles used to get the party started but now you nod off at 7:00pm and the thought of putting not only makeup on but an outfit makes you exhausted. Wriggling into your dress with your supportive undergarments that iron out the lumps and bumps just doesn’t seem to be the start of a great night out.
I’m going to read all those books you have been saving for when you have bub
The fact you are in bed and not sleeping, anything with chapters can and will provide you with a spontaneous sleep response. And if you can push through the frustration of having small people chew, loose your page, try to turn 10 pages at a time for you or interrupt you every time you get to a good bit means you learn to let go of reading anything that doesn’t have Kim Kardashian, Kate Middleton or Gabe Greko in the contents.
Do you remember what you said?