1. You turn your house into a baby ‘day spa’
Your baby has invested in a day spa membership for one at your place and they have high expectations on their level of care. Forget the feedback form, you’ll know all about it if you have an unhappy customer. Baby on wake up expects a breakfast of choice followed by a nude yoga session and an aromatic body scrub and rain shower and at this end of this treatment, his or her body to be enveloped in a luxe egyptian cotton towel. The next treatment of the day is a swedish massage to improve circulation and relax the muscles, followed by an organic lunch made from the finest ingredients and a sleep meditation session in darkened room filled with the sounds of a tropical rainforest. All external sounds which may disturb your babies’ customer experience will be muted at all costs including the dude’s leaf blower across the road, an over enthusiastic postie and husbies conversations about insanely irrelevant stuff like your mortgage!
2. You wee when you laugh, cough or jog
So on the outside you look pretty much the same as you were when before baby but on the inside there has been a lot going on. Unless you keep on top of those pelvic floor exercises in the coffee queue, one hilarious comment from your colleague about the Bachelor might have you sailing down the yellow river. Don’t even mention a hacking cough in the winter season. That pelvic floor is more like a storm damaged trampoline. Doesn’t hold much up!
3. Your boobs will never be the same again
Leaky, overheated, engorged, shrunk and ballooned. Who knew these boobs were capable of wreaking such mayhem and how little control you have over them? You haven’t lived unless you have the matching leaky boob stains combined with a mild wiff of off yoghurt. Whether they are bigger, smaller, saggier or stranger than before, you have never witnessed a more powerful machine at work and you may never look at them the same way again.
4. You have motherhood tattoos
Whether it’s a skin blemish, a stretch mark or two, a random bit of skin that appeared during pregnancy or a great new look to the downstairs department thanks to a little required nip and tuck post-partum, they are not scars, they are memories. A physical reminder of carrying, birthing and nurturing a new life. Dude’s just try and get a tatt to match that!
5. You’ve changed
No matter what kind of birth, baby, or experience you have had, becoming a mum or a dad changes you. It might be an internal or external change but these changes can lead you to recall all sorts of memories, bring up all sorts of feelings and help you stop and think about where you are going and what life you want for you and your family. It may lead you to do unexpected things like gush constantly about your children, move to a a coastal village or throw out all your plastics.
What ever road you take, just remember to be kind to yourself, acknowledge you now have the ability to see the world slightly differently, one of our many super powers and that giving birth, adopting or however you choose to become a mum makes you change sometimes in little ways, sometimes in ways you have never imagined. Welcome to the team!